Saturday, July 29, 2006

My background in the sciences is really paying off

I will spare you the details of why I'm looking forward to the end of the summer, but I should acknowledge that I'm not totally wasting my time or anything. I'm learning a lot, including how to sneak things like this into motions I'm writing.

(Background: The Ohio Rules of Civil Procedure require parties to make a good-faith effort to negotiate any discovery conflicts before moving the court for either a protective order or an order to compel discovery. In this particular case we had been served with requests for production, and had responded that the documentation was not within our possession, custody, or control, but that we would supply it as soon as it became available from the appropriate party. Without bothering to call us for an explanation, the opposing party moved to compel. This is part of my response.)

Moreover, the Motion should be denied because Plaintiff is not required to produce documents which are outside its possession, custody, or control. See Oh. R. Civ. P. 34(A) ("Any party may serve . . . a request to produce . . . documents . . . that are in the possession, custody, or control of the party upon whom the request is served."). Plaintiff is also unable to produce said documents because in addition to being bound by the laws of the State of Ohio, Plaintiff is further bound by the law of conservation of matter, and cannot conjure documents out of nothingness. See Wikipedia, Law of conservation of matter, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_conservation_of_matter (last visited July 28, 2006). In deference to the laws of nature, Plaintiff will provide the documentation as soon as it is physically able to do so.

3 comments:

sadielady said...

Good job. I've been wondering how to properly cite Wikipedia in legal briefs; thanks for the example.

Kat said...

You are really slacking if you can't "conjure documents out of nothingness." You need to work on that!

Nice use of Wikipedia. :)

M said...

Awesome footnote.
that is all.