Monday, March 06, 2006

The UC GAFBAs

Last night, the Oscars honored those individuals who have made movie theatre-going enjoyable over the last year. Today, I will honor those who have made my life more enjoyable over the last few months. Think about which one is more important. Without further ado, here are the UC GAFBAs (U Can't Get Arrested For. . . think about it, idiot):

Best Actor in a supporting role: The award goes to Mr. M. for his role in "Let's Split a Cab"

Mr. M, when taking a cab home from the bar realized he was short on cash. He had the cabbie stop at an ATM near his house. While he was getting cash, a random girl joined him in the cab. She asked if she could split a cab home with him and he acquiesced (think you know where this is going? You're wrong). On the way home the girl began to throw up in her mouth, Mr. M grabbed her by the hair, flung the door of the minivan cab open and held her head out the cab while she vomited all over Linwood Ave. The cabbie didn't even slow down.

Best Editing: The award goes to Mr. Hollywood. for "Revisionist History"

Hollywood: "Yeah, we were so tired, we just kept moping around Millions all night."
Tre: "Moping?"
Hollywood: "Yeah, OK, substitute the 'M' in moping with a 'G' and an 'R' and that's more like it."

Best Actress in a supporting role: The award goes to Ms. W for her role in "Crim Law Discussion: Rape"

When our prof asked the question as to whether or not simply saying "no" would be enough to remove prior consent Ms. W responded with her now famous retort:
"I don't think so, because come on, you know sometimes you're saying 'no, no, no' when you really mean 'yes, yes, yes."

Best Original Screenplay: Come on, you know it goes to Nye and Tre for "You Can't Get Arrested for Being Awesome"

Two of the wittiest, funniest guys in law school, we really deserve this. Not only are we hilarious, but we're also really, really good looking. Not to pat myself on the back, but pat, pat, pat.

Best Actor in a leading role: Mr. Professor for his role in "Classroom Quotes"

See previous blogs about classroom quotes: 1 & 2.

I'm working on the rest of the awards, check back later in the week for the rest of the first ever UC GAFBAs, including the dramatic conclusion where the 'Best Picture' UC GAFBA will be awarded. In the meantime, feel free to nominate people for the remaining awards.

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