Tuesday, December 06, 2005

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

It's that time of the year again for law students. Exams are coming up, which obviously means more hours in the library, more hours reading, and playing a lot of catch-up for some of us. However, it's also time for the real big pricks in law school to shine, to be extra self-important, to prove that whatever job they work, everyone will hate them.

It's time to turn up the condescending glares to people who didn't have perfect attendance this semester, to people that may actually have a good time while in law school, to people who write blogs about how you aren't normal. Yes my friends, stare me down, I am ready.

Do I care that you now have a 147 page outline for Professional Ethics & Responsibility? Not really. Am I impressed by your command of exigency searches? Hmmm, nope. Am I worried that I had to look up a topic to say you had command of in my Crim Pro syllabus? Negative. Does that funk from your lack of showering concern me? Yes. Do I think it's pathetic that you obviously just bought an NFL sweatshirt in an attempt to look normal? Without a doubt. How can I live with myself if I don't study 24 hours a day? I watch reality TV, and realize how much better my life is than those people. Believe it or not, my entire life doesn't depend on what grades I get in law school. While you may feel the need to justify your existence by staying up 48 hours straight to bump that B up to a B+, I'd rather dream for 8 hours about the UC dance team.

Believe it or not, you can do well in law school and not try to rub it in everyone else's face. I have a number of friends on law review, moot court, and ranked in the top 10% that don't feel the need to remind everyone, everyday that they're awesome. However, if you people took up this stance, I'd have no one to make fun of, so thank you.

I mean, Lincoln didn't even go to law school.

So keep kissing ass, keep asking those extra questions, feel free to jump in if the rest of us stumble, even for a second, over an answer. I guess maybe that's just your way of making new friends. If I had the social skills of an 8-year-old, I'd also be looking at viable alternative methods for human contact.

Note: I'm typing this blog in the cafeteria, the NPQ is currently about 60, fairly high for any area of the law school. I'm guessing this is directly correlated to the NPQ in the library being about 4 right now.

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