Sunday, December 04, 2005

"Fuck it, Dude. Let's go bowlin"

Well, it's official. All the bowl matchups are finally set. Let's have a quick run-down of some bowl games of note.
  • Best name: San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl. Honestly, are you kidding me? They'll let anyone have a bowl game.
  • Biggest snub: Clearly this belongs to Oregon. I mean, the Pac-10 is so overrated it's laughable, but for crying out loud, even South Florida got a better timeslot. USF didn't even have a football team ten years ago.
  • Tempting fate: BYU will play in the Las Vegas Bowl on December 22nd. Putting all those Mormons in Vegas is like putting a fox in a henhouse, only if the fox were deaf, dumb, blind, and a quadriplegic. No, don't worry, I'm allowed to make Mormon jokes, I have permission from this guy.
  • The Granddaddy of Them All: Not the Rose Bowl. Bowden vs. Paterno in the Orange Bowl. JoePa will be 79, Bowden 76. This matchup was also voted most likely to require sideline defibrillators.
  • Misnomer alert: The bowl season will open on December 20th with Southern Miss taking on Arkansas State in the New Orleans Bowl, to be played in Lafayette.
  • Biggest yawner: Nevada vs. UCF in the Hawaii Bowl. Games in Hawaii are always weird because no matter where you're watching it from, it's dark where you are and light where they are. Somehow this makes for something of a surreal scene that tends to send me into a restless sleep.
  • Most inexplicable bowl location: This is a tie between the Motor City Bowl in Detroit (Memphis vs. Akron) and the MPC Computers Bowl in Boise (Boise State vs. Boston College). These are the only two cold-weather bowl sites, and Boise is even outdoors. I don't understand -- what does Ohio have to do to get a bowl game? Ohio has more players per capita in the NFL than any other state with at least 10 players, and the fifth-most overall (behind California, Florida, Texas, and Georgia). I don't even know why I care. I wouldn't go. Let's just move on.
  • Heisman favorite: Obviously this is Reggie Bush. I mean, did you see the highlight video? If Bush wins, the Rose Bowl on January 4th will mark the first time that two Heisman winners have ever played a game on the same team while still in college. If Matt Leinhart wins he will be the second man ever to win twice (the first, of course, being famed Buckeye Archie Griffin, who won in 1974 and 1975). If Vince Young wins, it will be the second time ever and second year in a row that two Heisman winners have played against each other in one game -- last year Leinhart (2004 winner) beat Jason White (2003) and the Oklahoma Sooners in the Orange Bowl for the national title. Kind of fun.
  • Most overrated bowl team: Well, you have to actually be rated to be overrated, so I'll say it's Texas Tech. They've played exactly one good defense (Texas) and they got hammered. I really don't understand how a team that beats up on the likes of Florida International and Sam Houston State (the BearKats, by the way) makes it into the top 25.
  • Fearless prediction: Although I hope and expect it to be a good game, I don't see how the Notre Dame defense can stop the Ohio State offense. I don't think the Ohio State defense will shut down the ND offense, exactly, but there will be none of this 42-points-against-Navy crap. Having seen both teams up close this year, I think OSU should win this one.
  • Rose Bowl: This is the first national championship game I'm actually interested in since the Ohio State-Miami game after the 2002 season. Texas has the better defense, but I think people forget that USC has four legitimate game-breakers on offense (Bush, Leinhart, LenDale White, and Steve Smith). As good as Bush is, I think people forget that White is actually the starter. This could be the second year in a row that two RBs from one school are selected in the first round, with the starter being selected last. Anyway, I think this will be a relatively close game with both teams scoring in the 25-35 range, but I think SC pulls it off.
Next week we're going to handicap our respective GPAs for the semester. The early line on the over/under is 2.557.

8 comments:

Elle Woods said...

I used to think you guys might not actually be awesome since you live in Ohio, but a Lebowski quote as a title has made me really reconsider this.

Nye! said...

Yeah, that quote really tied the post together, did it not?

Elle Woods said...

Yeah, well, that's just like, your opinion man.

Nye! said...

Let me tell you somethin, pendejo. You pull any crazy shit with me, you flash a piece out on the lane -- I'll take it away from you and stick it up your ass and pull the fuckin' trigger till it goes 'click.'

EK said...

Jesus

Elle Woods said...

8 year olds dude.

EK said...

oh please, dear? I've got news for you: the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint!

Nye! said...

c'mon kenny, this isn't a First Amendment thing, man.