Tuesday, August 09, 2005

To my Greek friend!!

As promised....

I was a little disappointed that my Greek buddy did not want to drive 5 hours to party with me this weekend. Then, I realized it's not his fault, he's half Greek, so he was born lazy. He's so half-Greek that he was able to override his other half, Irish and Native American, which most likely voted to get hammered (Irish and Native American, I mean really, they save wings at Betty Ford for that ethnicity).

Excerpt from email to my Greek friend:

Ever wonder why Gyro's come in flatbread? Greeks are too lazy to add the yeast.
Greek Alphabet? 24 letters? Right? Can't make it to 26? It looks like the Greeks spent a lot of time in developing that logo for the Olympics, 5 rings, good work, Picassuck.
Greek system in the US = haven for people that like to sleep all day and drink at night and never to any work. Oh, Greek salad? It's actually just all the shit that people didn't eat off the lunch buffet.

Greek Flag = just a bunch of blue squares and stripes on a white piece of cloth. Really, why didn't they go with some Greek's huge assprint in the middle. Signifying the Greek national pasttime of sitting on your ass.

Good work on the Athens Olympics, I heard that you ALMOST got everything done on time. It's the fucking Olympics, it's not like the deadline snuck up on you. "Hey Mepos, stop shaving your eyebrows, we have pool to pour for Olympics.""Oh, Rekip, I forgot that the Olympics are every 4 years, I will stop trying to hump goat and marry my sister to local sheep herder, let's make pool, after nap of course."(Yes asshole, they speak broken English in Greece)

Also, Greeks always like to claim how they invented modern democracy. Maybe it was just because not one Greek had enough intiative to take charge? Furthermore, Greece is actually just a bunch of islands. It's obvious Greeks were too lazy to govern these islands independently, so they threw them all together and made one big government.

Then his response when I asked him if I could blog about his laziness:

I would be careful with blogging about Greeks...I mean, if you think some people can make your legal life a little uncomfortable, just wait till you see what a Greek can do to make your ENTIRE life uncomfortable. I'm talking irresponsible financial decisions, unprotected sex, procrastination, dirtiness, mooching, even more hair on your back than you have now...be careful my friend, for once one drinkeths from the cup, he cannot help but to drinketh again (wise Greek saying from 100 BC which is totally irrelevant in this context...other than pointing out that you too could one day turn into and lead the luxurious life of the poor, dirty, lazy Greek male, father to 13-20 illegitimate children).

Actually, Greeks don't own computers, and if they do, they are looking at Greek websites...that's assuming they are paying their internet bill...blog away....I am only half Greek...with the other half comprising a redeeming Irish/Native American mix....yes......


I love you, W (not the President).

1 comment:

Me said...

Heh. Classic.
(Also half Greek)
s-