Saturday, July 02, 2005

Nation's Capital for the Nation's Birthday

Remarkably, I made it to DC last night without stopping ONCE for any sort of traffic delay. Of course, now that I've gloated about this, I won't make it 15 feet out of DC before being stopped on the way home.

We got into a big argument about abortion last night, it was fantastic. Of course, we were completely trashed, so the "intellectual conversation" denegrated into off-color remarks about coat hangers. Luke Thomas would be so proud.

This morning's question was, "Women in what occupation give the best handjobs?" How we got there, I don't really know. However, Murph astutely pointed out that concert violinists most likely took top honors. I was impressed, until he told me he realized this while watching a high school orchestra. I could not find him on the registry of sex offenders in DC, but he does look like he's 17, so it may be legal.

Now, we're watching the women's final at Wimbledon, trying to figure out if women's tennis players make these noises in bed. If anyone has any insight, please enlighten me.

I learned last night that DC women do not enjoy being called prostitutes. They also do not appreciate being refered to as 'hookers', 'whores', or 'sluts' when you're talking to the cabby. Go figure.

Speaking of cabbies, I had the pleasure of sharing the following dialogue with a cabbie stopped next to our cab at a red light:

Cabbie: Pardon me sir, but do you have any Grey Poupon?

Me: No man, sorry, but we do have some girls in the back that you can have.

Cabbie: I see, if you feel like sharing, I love me some white girls. Oh yes. Oops, green light, gotta go!

Then my new favorite cabbie ever peeled off into the DC night. The goal for my remaining 48 hours here will be to find this man. (This dialogue, once again, did not endear me to the ladies sharing the cab with us)

All in all a good first night. We even made it to McDonald's breakfast this morning.


Anonymous said...

it's time to cut the cord. nye!s posts suck. go solo, tre! so your fans don't have to be subjected to his stupid musings.

tre! rules!!!

Luke Thomas said...

Thanks for prank calling my show, dick sucker. Seeing as how they like to push the envelope, I don't think the FCC will mind the F-bomb Snyder dropped (with impunity) right in the middle of the hour.

Call next week and tell us something else that won't get me in trouble, like the best time to use the N-word in mixed company.