Tuesday, June 21, 2005

I want to be a Hilton too!!

I caught the last 15 minutes of the Hilton reality show tonight. I'm pretty sure NBC (or whatever station it was on) execs sat in a room and tried to think of a way to make people feel uncomfortable while they watched the show. I guess "America's Best Racist" and "Midgets Beating the Elderly with Sex Toys" didn't test well with the 18-44 male demographic. It's that bad, trust me. This was the first reality show I had to turn off because I felt bad for the people that were on it, including Kathy Hilton.

Howard Stern hit the nail on the head this morning when he asked her why she needed to do this. She wants to be famous, being "just" rich isn't enough, even though being obscenely wealthy would be enough for most of us. She's pretty miserable at being famous and she's on a crusade to prove that you can't buy fame (however, I will make you "famous" for a nominal fee. OK, you won't be famous, I'll just talk about all the things we did with my friends when I get drunk). All of the contestants fawn all over her, making it look like one big ego trip. However, if I was on the show, I'd do whatever she wanted, as long as it included slapping my cock across her forehead (a "wabaam" for the uninitiated).

Then there are the contestants. Most of them walking cliches. There is the large black woman with a huge personality, the effeminate waiter, the hick that has no manners and dips on national TV, the slutty blonde that insists she isn't a slut, and the so-cool-I-shouldn't-even-be-on-this-show guy. I really had to turn the TV off when the beauty queen started singing. I'm not saying I did this for effect, I actually had to turn off the TV. The British chick used the word "fracas" and actually used it somewhat correctly. However, no one else on the show understood what it meant, including Kathy Hilton. That has to be a little embarrassing for a hotel mogul. Oh that's right, embarrassment would be if the internet was inundated with videotapes of your daughter banging anyone half-famous.

I wish my biggest problem was my daughter being freaky in the sack.

Strike that. I guess when it's your own daughter, the fact that she's a "freak" (read as: whorish slutbag) isn't that cool. Good luck to you, Kathy, it's obvious your life is miserable.


Long said...

"I did it once and she laughed, so I did it twice more."

Dirty Martini said...

i get embarrassed for them just watching the commercials. A.M. keeps trying to get me to watch the show - just can't bring myself to do it.