Thursday, April 28, 2005

This time it's personal....

... I want to give a shout-out to a certain surfer-looking 1L from southern Kentucky. He thought he got away with disparaging remarks on the list-serv, but this one's for him.

I was wondering how company slogans might differ if they were located in Kentucky (or Granville, aka Kentucky North). Here we go...

Survivor: "Outwit, Outplay, Outlast"
Survivor Kentucky: "Dimwit, Outweigh, Outhouse"

Crest: "Healthy, beautiful smiles, for life."
Kentucky Crest: "You have no chance in hell of keeping all of your teeth."

The Masters: "A tradition like no other"
The Kentucky Masters: "A tradition of humping your brother"

Geico: 15 minutes can save you 15% on your car insurance."
Geico Kentucky: "15 minutes can help you get your car off the cinderblocks in your front yard and back on the road."

Red Lobster: "For the seafood lover in you."
Red Lobster Kentucky: "For the seafood lover in you, and by seafood, we mean stuff we picked up off the side of the road."

HBO: "Home Box Office."
HBO: "Your Home is a Box in my Office."

Goodyear: "More people ride on Goodyear tires than on any other kind."
Goodyear Kentucky: "More houses ride on Goodyear tires than on any other kind," or "Our tires make great lawn ornaments."

GE: "We bring good things to life."
GE Kentucky: "Eventually we will bring electricity to Kentucky, soon, we promise."

EHarmony: "When you're ready to find the love of your life."
EHarmony Kentucky: "Stop touching your sister and sign up with us, weirdo."

Thats it for now, but I think I might make this a regular column as long as BW keeps it up.

On an unrelated note, I really want Fox to pick up the option on that Small House commercial and turn it into a reality series. I'd definitely sign up for that, except for the whole marriage part.

1 comment:

Apple Martini said...

This is fun!!

McDonalds: I'm lovin' it
McDonnald's KY: I'm lovin' my cousin

Walmart: Always low prices. Always
Walmart KY: The only prices you can afford

L'Oreal: Because you're worth it
L'Oreal KY: I guess I'd pay for you