Thursday, March 03, 2005

Wherefore art thou, fun in library?

Libraries are depressing. It seems like people go to these places only to accomplish things, and not to have fun. People working makes me sad, whereas people having fun makes me happy. The way people act in libraries is something that burns me more than the gonorrhea I contracted from a Taiwainese hooker while on shore leave.

Law libraries are the worst. I mean, try to start up a friendly game of Northeastern reporter Jenga, and see the shit hit the proverbial fan. Then, the librarians have the nerve to make you clean up the shit. Don't even think about looking up any sort of animal pornography either, librarians are only down with child porn. Anyway, the silence of the library is probably what gets me most. Really, it's almost deafening. I feel more comfortable talking after watching a Cialis or Viagra commercial with my parents than speaking in a library.

Which leads me to the people that work in libraries. These are people who, for one reason or another, are incapable of having "real" fun. They instead get their kicks out of telling other people to be quiet, or scornfully looking at anyone who seems to be enjoying themselves. It's a little known fact that the world "librarian" actually comes from the ancient egyptian words "lib" which means 'will definitely' and "rarian" which means 'marry someone they met on the internet'. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

In conclusion, have some fun the next time you're at the library. Bring a bottle. Play NE Reporter Jenga. Bring back the penis game from junior high. Do something to piss off everyone else that's trying to be productive. You know that deep down inside, they really want to have fun. If they don't want to have fun, I guess they have a right to do their own thing, like play Star Trek Scrabble.

In the end, I guess we have to leave the libraries to the nerds, they need somewhere to breed anyway.


Anonymous said...

What's this NE Reporter jenga, and why was I not told of it? I think that star trek scrabble is cool.

jaclyn said...

my mom is a librarian... at a middle school. you got beef?

(this doesnt stop me and my little brother from playing the penis game at the dinner table)

Anonymous said...

Hear that Wingo i think Jaclyn is picking a fight....