Sunday, March 13, 2005

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

I'm so glad I set aside Sunday to work solely on my brief. I was able to use the day to its fullest to get some work done. Here's a chronology of the day.

10:00 AM -- Wake up, hit snooze

10:15 AM -- Wake up, hit snooze

10:30 AM -- Wake up, move to couch

10:31 AM -- turn on TV, nothing panders to me, so I move to ESPN football 2005, Browns beat Steelers 42-13, Plaxico Burress sprains ankle, it's gonna be a good day.

11:15 AM -- Get to work on brief, and by work on brief, I mean turn on laptop, spread cases around desk and floor, login to Lexis-Nexis, proofread statement of facts. This wears me out, decide I need some food.

Noon -- Eggs, toast, and hash browns, lots of ketchup. Decide to take 30 minute break before heading back to work. Similar to swimming, you must wait half hour before doing anything related to law school after eating, otherwise, you may vomit, or drown.

1 PM -- Decide watching ACC title game is necessity, even if beloved Tar Heels have decided to let someone else beat Duke

3:30 PM -- Disappointment after Duke pulls it out, decide that I probably shouldn't work on the brief with such a negative mindset, work on Friendster profile for 15 minutes, then IM about how much brief sucks for next 15 minutes

4 PM -- Shower, decide to forgo shaving, again

4:05 PM -- Work on brief
4:15 PM -- Call landlord to resolve hot water issues with shower, landlord promises to get right on it, unlike my landlord in undergrad, who would have said deal with it. I think this has something to do with landlord feeling that I have some sort of knowledge of the law and he must help me or I will sue. Little does he know that 1Ls and the law are just like teenagers and sex. We both know what all the parts are and what they do, but we can't really find a way to put it all together smoothly. This results in pain and uncomfortable groping (for complicated legal arguments or complicated bra straps) for both.

4:20 PM -- back to work on brief

4:45 PM -- IM about brief, make sure that I'm doing the right topic, turns into IM conversations about NCAAs, steroids, and who would you rather sleep with Lindsay Lohan or one of the Olsen twins (I'd take Lohan over BOTH of the twins, even at the same time).

5:30 PM -- Work on brief for a half hour straight

6:00 PM -- Watch selection show and make baked Zitis for dinner

6:30 PM -- Agonize over why UNC has tough bracket, do preliminary research for tourny pool, ignore research about morbid obesity and the ADA. Supplement dinner with entire bag of Iced Animal Crackers.

7:00 PM -- Parents call, talk to them about how I've been working on my brief all day. Feel somewhat bad about stretching the truth, but realize it's a feeling I need to get used to as a lawyer.

8:00 PM -- The Contender. Ishe Smith is the man, I thought he was gonna get his ass kicked, but he shut the pretty boy up.

9:00 PM -- Confusion as to why Desperate Housewives is not on TV. Confusion is furthered when Uncle Jesse is hitting on lots of females. Left wondering if Becky is at home guiding the twins through adolescence on her own.

9:25 PM -- Trip to Shell station for Red Bull in anticipation of long night ahead

10:00 PM -- ABC doesn't completely ruin my night by showing Boston Legal, counts as work on brief, as show is about law (also, Tara is smoking hot). In retrospect, I will count The Contender as legal research as well, as boxers do some stupid stuff, and will most likely need lawyers. Back to Boston Legal, this show is great. It reminds me every week that lawyers are pompous, arrogant, self-aggrandizing individuals. According to most females, this is the perfect profession for me.

11:00 PM to bedtime.. whenever that may be. I'd like to say that I'll get a good 3 hours of work in tonight. However, in all likelihood, I'll work for 30 minutes or so, then check, waste more time by calling females that I have no chance with, then hope there is a good King of Queens or Dharma and Greg on TV. Greg is a lawyer, so that counts as working on my brief.

All in all, a full days work.


Alda said...

Remind me to NEVER hire you! That's if you EVER graduate... [jus' kidding] :)

Dildo said...

A complete replica of my Saturday. Does watching the Mummy and sleeping through Gladiator on TNT in any way qualify as work?

Your Mother said...

The new title of your blog should be "You Can't Get Arrested for Being Awesome, But I Don't Have to Worry About It Because I'm Not"

Nye! said...

You're telling me poop isn't awesome? I'm going to have to respectfully disagree on that one.

Tre! said...

Not to be a law school student and fault your logic, but if I wasn't awesome, wouldn't I HAVE to be worried about getting arrested??

Also, I love the name "your mother", real original.

However, I'm glad that there are some third-graders out there reading our blog. Diversify the audience and what not.

Apple Martini said...

I am so happy someone else uses the EXACT same method I use for legal writing! Don't worry, I find that the most inspired Lexis/Westlaw cutting and pasting happens around 3:00 am....