Sunday, March 20, 2005

Finally on Spring Break

Sorry, took awhile for me to come out of my St. Patty's Day hangover.

1. March madness is going to make it hard for me to pay attention to this blog. However, I guess I have more of a commitment to it than Nye. I don't understand why he made me stop my initial blog and move onto his.

2. The Burger King Chicken Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch scares me. Really, it scares me. First, who are all of these people. I know Hootie, Vida Guerra, and Brooke Burke. If anyone has any insight as to who else is in this commercial, I'd appreciate it. I think about it constantly, and I'm afraid it may start taking over my life. The people I'd like to identify are 1) the blonde under the "chicken breast" tree 2) the blonde on the railroad car (longer version) 3) the two black cowboy twins (my brother claims its Kris Kross, but I don't think so 4) Any other famous people in the commercial. Anyone who responds and tells me that the blonde under the tree is Jenna Jameson will be ridiculed. I've seen a lot of Jenna's work, and I know her face when I see it, even when it isn't covered with semen.

3. I'm winning in two pools right now. So I'm happy. I'm sure after next weekend I'll be very bitter at West Virginia or someone like that ruining my bracket.

More on March Madness, this whole we're-the-underdog-we're-losing-late-so-we'll-link-our-arms-together-on-the-bench-to-show-unity thing has to stop. First, guys who bet on you don't want you to look desperate. Guys who bet against you don't want you to look like you have a chance. The type of girls that will sleep with you if you win don't like it, because they don't like douchebags. The type of girls that will sleep with you if you lose out of pity DO like it. However, they're fat. And they have herpes.

4. I had a dream last week that I was coach of the US women's water polo team. No really, these are what my fantasies are now. Please help.

5. I'm really glad I wrote during the afternoon as opposed to tonight. I can't wait for "Spring Break Shark Attack" on CBS. It's obvious that CBS has ceded the purposeful comedy to the other networks and is basing their programming strictly on unintentional comedy.

6. Jimmy Kimble Live had a clip from a guy who called into QVC on St. Patty's day while drunk and got on the air. This is going to be my new hobby after I get back from the bars. The guy told the lady on QVC that he drank a lot of beer and proposed to a leprechaun. One of the funniest things I've heard in awhile.

I'll work on being funny for the rest of the week. Right now I'm too focused on figuring out every permutation as to how much money I can make off the tourny.

1 comment:

Giselle said...

I keep humming the "the breasts, they grow on trees" part. SCARY.